Becoming the Thing You Hate

Nothing could have prepared Winston for the transition. Not even I could predict how this, my, particular strand of our shared affliction would affect him and whatever was left of his spirit.

I saw the regret linger in his eyes for a long time after he took his first breaths as a new being. This ‘gift’ cannot be refused but for a time, more considerable than I have seen, he struggled against what was already a growing dark need. I offered him hushed explanations of what he might be feeling and the grim reminder that the thirst would have to be addressed sooner rather than later.

He looked at me and nodded. There was no hate or blame behind them, only an undeniable fire…anger. He seemed reluctant to use his voice, not quite certain he hadn’t also been ‘gifted’ the voice of the monster he had become.

“Let me go with you.” I said gently. “I should be your guide when first you feed. You were a man before, but you are babe in the matters and mysteries of your new existence.”

He stood up, straight and tall, still negotiating his new strength and senses. He seemed sure on his feet, secure in a way that spoke to an experience he had yet to glean as a vampire. He was in good physical shape before, but now he appeared at least ten years younger. As with each of us that is made, something unique had occurred with the co-mingling of our bloodlines.

“No.” He said evenly. He paused. His voice had changed. It was deeper and smoother. Seductive. “Thank you Nicholas, but I would like to have this experience to myself.” He looked into my eyes and there was now a strange calm in his. “Stay with Ngozi. I can take care of myself.”

I felt the hypnotic effect of his gaze. The strength and apparent control was surprising. “Be vigilant.” I said finally.

He clasped my shoulder before disappearing into what was left of the night. Ngozi stood next to me wordlessly and after a few moments I felt the warmer flesh of her hand pressed against my cool skin.

In a strange way it felt like we had sent our own creation into a cruel and unforgiving new world. We were both invested in Winston, hopeful that he could still manage to have some semblance of a life. But first he needed to survive this night and neither one of us would rest until he returned…