If It Makes You Happy…

Have you ever made a decision at first thought best for your own personal well-being but then upon further consideration perhaps more damaging than ever considered. Something in you warns of the error being made. This is where I found myself. At night I rested beside something that looked, smelled and acted like my Sophie. We embraced this dream even though we both knew Sophie was long gone.

There was concern among the coven, but only Louis gave voice to the misgivings.

 “Neither of us have the moral latitude to judge anyone.” He began on a cool night two weeks into our new arrangement. “But this thing that you do is of no benefit to either of you.”

“I appreciate your honesty dear friend.” I said with a sad smile. “But I did not get the opportunity to bid her a proper farewell in my previous life so I will let this fever run its course.”

He flashed me a knowing smile and squeezed my shoulder.

“Hold this in your thoughts my friend. We are well aware of our dark nature, yet we hold unto what is left of our humanity and work every day to master our impulses. As much as this entity reminds you of Sophie, it is nothing more than a reflection of your memory. It only mimics Nicholas. It was never human.” He turned to leave. “I wish for you this was true but I ask you not to confuse familiar feelings and want with happiness.”

He had given voice to my own discomfort and feelings that I tried to bury. Still, I wasn’t sure if I was prepared to say goodbye again. My life seemed filled with goodbyes and this time Sophie could stay with me. So what if she was just a reflection, what was I?

Dead Wife, Undead Husband

I spent a month in the wilderness with its protector among his small group of followers, natural and otherwise, and Sophie. The more time spent with this entity, the more of Sophie I saw in her.


Another strange thing was happening to me. I was experiencing long stretches of what I can only describe as peace and soon I found myself thinking of the unthinkable. It was time for me to get back to the society I very much wanted to be part of and protect. I would leave with my own demons under control and ask another demon to join me…

A light in the Dark

I followed this old, mystical, protector of the forest deep into his territory until I felt the presence of more than just the creatures of the forest. He stopped at a dry clearing and looking around I realized that it had the feel of a large room sheltered by leaves and bordered by trees. The air was cool and comfortable when he turned to me and spoke.


“Your body still functions like that of a mortal. More efficiently, but still…” He smiled. “Have you noticed that if you respect the natural law how much easier things become?” He asked.

I smiled, because I had found that things were easier for me when I fought my dark nature to do what was right…what was humane.

A look of concern crossed his face as seemed to be considering what he was about to say very carefully.

“There is someone you should meet.” He paused. “Trust your instincts and your senses.” He said.

It always made me uncomfortable when I felt I was being told what I should do and how I should feel, even if it was genuinely sound advice. There was movement behind him, and while the figure was still in shadow there was a familiar scent and sense in the air. I tensed up remembering when last I had this sense and how badly things had gone.

As the filtered moonlight illuminated her delicate features something deep within me ached. I tried to tell myself, as I had before, that she was not who she seemed to be. Maybe Papa Bois was not a friend.

He stepped aside as she approached me cautiously. She did not smile and I could feel myself relax a little.

I put a hand up and she stopped.

“You are not Sophie.” I said evenly.

She looked genuinely sad, or was it hurt?

“I am more Sophie than anyone or anything else.” She began. “I was given something of her. Told to become her to distract you, to trap you…but her love for you is strong and I guess her will to be her is stronger than my conviction for mischief and evil. I know I’m not Sophie, but she now lives in me and she wants to help you. I want to help you.”

She even sounded like Sophie. If this was a trick, then this would be how it ends with me on my knees being cradled by a demon more comfortable existing as my dead wife…